A Prolonged and Postponed Preparation of Procrastination

by Kevlin Henney

Good with any deadline or on its own, this versatile dish is timeless. As its Latin origin suggests, it was often taken as a breakfast in Roman times. With the hectic pace of modern life, it is now a repast for any time, whether as something to be made a meal of or as a snack to fill up the day (or night).

There is no hurry, but you will (eventually) need the following:

One commitment of work. It is possible to dawdle without anything on one’s plate, but procrastination takes commitment. If you have many commitments, consider many courses, with an amuse-bouche of prevarication and perendination for dessert.

An approach of deadline. Although optional, deadlines add a certain bittersweet tang to the dish, a pressured mix of urgency seasoned with inner conflict and denial.

Measures of delay, according to taste.

Generous helpings of distraction. Less important items of work are an obvious ingredient, but do not limit yourself! Social media, for example, offers opportunities beyond the count of cats, as well as an outlet through which you can lament your progress.

Half a dozen moments of regret, to be sprinkled liberally.

A repentance of leisure, to be drawn out.

Preparation is time consuming and very much a personal matter. Save the commitment of work until last — there is no need to rush this step!

Serve with hot drinks during the day or a glass or two of wine in the evening. Take plenty of time to enjoy this dish.

Kevlin Henney writes shorts and flashes and drabbles of fiction that have appeared in various places on tree and online, including The Pygmy Giant.

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