Swimming Tandem

by Oonah V Joslin

I think of them
affectionately
as Hairdo and Hard-face and
they’re there every Tuesday
swimming and yet

Hairdo’s permanent wave
never gets wet.

Hard-face wears an impenetrable
mask of determination.

Together they rule the pool
in a glue of conversation.

It’s important to breathe when you’re swimming, I find.
In and out
and so I do.
In and out and up and down I go.

But on Tuesday
they persistently
get in the way
putting everybody off their stroke

no matter how packed the pool
they give no quarter.

‘Now’t as odd as folk,’ they say.

 I listen though you cannot help but hear.

Today it’s barbeque – ‘If ‘t weather ‘olds’
‘’as it got garlic in?’
‘as what?’
‘ t’sauce’
‘Eee – a don’t know.’
‘it’s a sauce like,
 what ‘ee learned in Mexico.’

 That might spark up a change to
‘olidays’
only the latest ‘in resort’ will do

but as I pass
they get drowned out by the Big O
singing, ‘Blue Bayou’.

So I swim round them
‘cos you can’t get through.

They’re not moving for anyone,
Hard-face and Hairdo…

They’re stuck in the groove
a long-play of trivia of two.

Apparently
‘you make t’marinade t’ day before
and give it a rest overnight’

Give it a rest?
I don’t believe a word.
I’ll bet they talk in their sleep
incessantly
I’ll bet their ‘usbands’ sleep in separate rooms
always assuming they can get away.

I find it’s important to breathe when you’re swimming.
But I don’t believe
either of these ever

draw breath.

Oonah V Joslin is Managing Editor of www.everydaypoets.com and blogs at oovj.wordpress.com where you can find links to her other work.

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  1. #1 by John D. Ritchie on May 2, 2012 - 8:55 am

    Excellent! Beautifully drawn characters with pefectly defined voices. Very funny and well observed.

    Best

    sean

  2. #2 by jennifer walmsley on May 2, 2012 - 4:47 pm

    Really enjoyed and could identify with this. Loved the local accent.

  3. #3 by oovj on May 2, 2012 - 10:33 pm

    :) Shhhhhhhhh don’t tell them :)

  4. #4 by Dave Morehouse on May 3, 2012 - 8:09 am

    I enjoyed reading about these two ‘ladies’. ;) Nicely done

  5. #5 by Sandra on May 4, 2012 - 7:53 am

    Nice one, Oonah.

  6. #6 by Angela Wray on May 7, 2012 - 5:23 pm

    Loved this one – witty and lively and true!

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