by Jan Lane
The women are sitting in the lounge. The younger of the two is aware that her mother is talking to her, but she doesn’t hear the words. She examines the deeply etched face, lines for which she feels no guilt or responsibility. There have been no reprisals either, just desperation so intense it’s almost tangible. Immune to the nervous chatter, she notices the gap where the grubby net curtains should meet in the middle. She used to sneak wistful glances through that gap. As she looks through it now, all at once the years start to roll away, and she knows that she will soon leave again.
Jan Lane writes from West Dorset.
#1 by Dan Powell on January 27, 2012 - 9:09 am
Love the sense of unspoken conflict here between the mother and daughter. The gap in the curtains is a great image too, just a glimpse of escape, of outside. Top stuff, Jan.
#2 by Kate Smith on January 27, 2012 - 11:00 am
I’m a sucker for grubby net curtains! Well done, Jan.
#3 by Jan Lane on January 27, 2012 - 7:20 pm
Dan, Kate, Thanks for reading and for your comments. I really value the feedback.
#4 by dave kendrick on January 30, 2012 - 11:02 am
Great title, it is perfect for the story. Every word counts. Nice one Jan.
#5 by Robert on February 13, 2012 - 11:46 am
When I read your article I remember when I was a teenage boy and always scolded by my mother. I realized it now that my mother really wants the best for me. Those scolding and grounding could only just a matter of discipline that she just wants me to know that I did wronged.
#6 by Jackie on February 14, 2012 - 2:44 pm
I like the tension in this scene and the double edged gap between the curtains and mother and daughter. Great stuff Jan.