by Kelly Evans

I met you on a Sunday. It wasn’t an auspicious start if I’m honest.

We bumped into each other in the literal sense – you had your eyes to the ground, doing something on your phone and you sent me flying, landing on the grass verge with my handbag emptying its contents onto the path, coins and make up scattered about like so much flotsam. You helped me up and got my things together, wiping the grass from my bottom a little too enthusiastically, I thought. You took me for a coffee to apologise, asked me my name over a skinny chai latte while I checked myself for damage.

From there things went swimmingly. We dined out and you were always a perfect gent, opening doors and pulling my chair out for me. When we went to the cinema you always bought the ice cream and the popcorn and anything else I wanted. You even paid extra for those big fat seats in the middle row with the faux leather covers and the big wooden arm rests. I’d never been wooed before so this made a big change from being inexpertly chatted up in bars by men with sweat on their brow and too much aftershave on their skin.

I was really looking forward to our first night together. We waited a while, to be fair, though it didn’t seem like it. Nearly three weeks of old fashioned courting came and went in the blink of an eye before I finally persuaded you to stay over. You were shy to a fault and I wondered if there was something behind your smile that was holding you back. You seemed to be excited and scared at the same time. I wondered if maybe you were a virgin or if you’d been hurt by someone hard and cold with no respect for your feelings. I suspected there was some other reason for your nerves.

Now as I sit here in a shaft of morning light still reeling from the whirlwind of last night I realise I was right. And if I ever get out of these knots I will make you pay.

Kelly Evans lives in Reading. She makes a living by working with Excel but really lives for the time she gets to spend with Word.

  1. #1 by Philip Dodd on April 14, 2011 - 9:06 am

    Simply brilliant. I really liked the way you did this. Unexpected!

  2. #2 by jennifer walmsley on April 14, 2011 - 9:48 am

    A great read. Made me laugh at the end but this is a scary fellow.

  3. #3 by Bth on April 19, 2011 - 10:46 am

    Just fabulous! Drew me in immediately. I love your unexpected end…

  4. #4 by Alyson on April 19, 2011 - 1:59 pm

    Brilliant – marvelous ending. I’m thrilled you’ve started submitting your work…it’s always top notch. :)

  5. #5 by Anne Formica on April 19, 2011 - 3:30 pm

    Brillant – I love getting your blog and this is just as good!!!!!!

  6. #6 by Robbie Grey on April 19, 2011 - 3:43 pm

    Congrats on the publication!

  7. #7 by Cath Barton on April 19, 2011 - 4:29 pm

    Neatly done and a good sting.

  8. #8 by Sandra Davies on April 19, 2011 - 4:42 pm

    Not a word wasted – very good and surprising end.

  9. #9 by Sharon Longworth on April 19, 2011 - 6:25 pm

    Simply fabulous – up there with the best and I’m so glad the folks at Pygmy Giant were wise enough to publish this.

  10. #10 by Barbara L on April 19, 2011 - 7:30 pm

    Loved the surprise ending! Excellent short short story.

  11. #11 by Dolly Daydreams on April 19, 2011 - 9:19 pm

    Congratulations on being published it is well deserved. This is one of the best of your stories but not the only great piece of writing that I have read of yours. Well done.

  12. #12 by justlittlecajunme on April 19, 2011 - 9:59 pm

    You are just full of awesomeness! Congrats on being published. You deserve it!

  13. #13 by Joe on April 20, 2011 - 9:29 pm

    Nice one BL , great short story written beautifully as always

  14. #14 by Sandra Crook on April 21, 2011 - 8:41 am

    Concise and scary. Great!

  15. #15 by Bag Lady on April 21, 2011 - 11:44 am

    Thanks for all your comments and positive feedback. It’s genuinely appreciated.

  16. #16 by Diana E. Backhouse on April 21, 2011 - 12:48 pm

    She fell for him in a big way and he couldn’t wait to tie the knot. This sounds as if it should lead to a happily ever after scenario. You proved that this wasn’t the case in your well written tale. Nice job!

  17. #17 by Sabrina on April 22, 2011 - 6:19 am

    Wonderful piece :)

  18. #18 by Brian on April 26, 2011 - 1:47 pm

    Utter Drivel

  19. #19 by Bonnie K. Jobe on April 26, 2011 - 5:08 pm

    Even better the second read. Enjoy your writing – congrats on being published!

  20. #20 by Lizzie on January 26, 2012 - 5:24 pm

    Just lovely! :)

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