The Pygmy Giant

by Oonah V Joslin

“My life is a sham.”

“So what do you want me to do about it?”

“You were supposed to contradict me.”

“We’ve been married for thirty two years, Mary. You don’t like being contradicted.”

“Well – unless I’m wrong…”

“But you’re not wrong, Mary. You’re right.”

“Pardon me?”

“Excused. You’re right… Your life’s a sham – if a tad dramatic…”

“Jo-ohn…”

“You loved your job… all you ever do now is cook and clean… never a minute for yourself… why doesn’t Marty get himself a wife…everybody else has a water feature… Do you know, we haven’t had sex for…oh – nine months…?”

“Is that all you can think about?”

“For about the past eight months – yes. It’s like when you’re on one of your diets and all you can think about is food. So – I’m sex-starved and your life’s a sham. There we are. What are you going to do?”

“John, I think you could at least put down the paper.”

“Okay. You’re unhappy. Let’s talk about it.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Then why did I have to put down the paper? Why did you even say it?”

“I don’t know… For something to say, I suppose.”

“Oh – well in that case your life really is a sham!”

*

“Mum? Dad? You two fighting?”

“Your mother’s life’s a sham, Marty.”

“Hey, join the club! My life’s a sham too plus I’m starving. Is there any of that chicken left from yesterday?”

“In the fridge, dear.”

“Thanks Mum. You know – for a sham, you’re not such a bad cook… I’m going out. See you both later.”

“Marty – don’t be late. Have you got a key? And don’t bang the d…”

*

“He’s an adult, Mary”

“I know.”

“What are you crying for?”

“I don’t know. Leave me alone.”

“I was thinking we could go on a cruise. Would you like that? A cruise?”

“Yes, I suppose…”

“Come on, love. Your life isn’t a sham. We love you. I love you.”

*

“John?”

“Yes?”

“How about an early night?”

Oonah V Joslin is managing editor of Every Day Poets.com, a prize winner twice at Micro Horror and you can find links to more of her work at oonahverse, her blogspot.